Keepin it ReaL!

If you don’t like me, It’s alright
If you don’t want me, That’s fine
I never forced any of this to happen
Everything was just born out of pity

For two years i’ve been living a lie
Believing everything was real
Made to believe I was all you ever wanted
You made a fool out of me

You’ve done this before
And yet you’ve done it again
A sudden slip of the tongue
and a slip of your actions
Spills it all that I was never enough

Don’t you think you’ve done enough?
Don’t you think those were clear evidences?
Is it wrong to believe in my instincts?
Is it wrong to believe on how I feel?

I try to get up and wash my face
from this nightmare and see myself
in the mirror of how pathetic I am
I’ve convinced myself now not to push myself
My eyes have been opened from the reality
That you never really wanted me

I’ve done my part
Yet I’ve ventured nothing
and gained nothing

we’ve never resolved a fight through serious talks. we fight today and forget all about it the next day. that explains why we feel bitter towards each others’ weaknesses. whenever we argue, the past arguments would jz pop out on our discussion. it’s so annoying! it’s like he’s been holding back grudges or something. he never says a word coz he’s not expressive but he’s good in spreading my weaknesses when im not around. more of like a backstabber or something! i just hate it! why on earth would you not talk to me?he feels bitter.. and i feel bitter to him and to myself coz im often reminded of the bad sentiments he sees in me.

i couldn’t love you far too much without TALKING THINGS OUT! not this time around!

it sucks when a part of you goes away without any warning… nndot pa
gani au toh pag sugod, den all of a sudden ma wala lang… mura gud ug
g-tec.. nindot pa kaayo ig sugod… happy au ka pag palit nimo kay naa
na jud kay maaNindot nga ballpen… gi gamit nimo for the first time,
ug nindot kaayo ug resulta… apan sa mga pila lang ka adlaw imong
g-tec kalit lang na hanaw… wa ka kahibaw asa ug kung ngano… ug ikaw
nagpabilin nga masulob-on… mura pud ug gugma! nindot
pa kaayo ig sugod… magkailhanay mo ug taman sa ginhawa hangtod maka
baho na ka sa iyang utot… apan sakit gayod kung ang imong minahal
kalit lang nga mulakaw nga wala’y pag pahibalo… mulakaw siya nga wa
ka kahibaw kung asa ug ngano ug kung mu balik pa ba siya… bisag tawag
o txt o email (hi tech!) o telegrama (old skul!) wa gayod!!! kung naa
man gani na hitabo sa iya nga dili maayo, aw maayo unta nga giyahan
siya sa Espirito Santo!!! Ug kung buot ko niya’ng biyaan kay wa na’y
siya gugma nako, ngano mag likay2x man siya? Kung tinuod man nga wa na
siya’y gi bati nga gugma para nko, mas maayo pa nga RESPETO na lang
akong pangayoon, ug sulti-an ko kung na unsa na ba siya… Kung nag
tu-o man gani siya nga kanang iyang pag likay2x kay usa ka pa-agi para
dili ko masakitan—- pwes! gi sakitan nako daan sa sugod pa lang!
porbida baya ani! wa gayod ko mag dahum nga ma ing-ani lang mi… ug wa
pud ko na sayud kung unsaon ni nako pag pas-an aning krus nga gi baton
mo ka nako…… hhuhuhuhu,,, (phew! gawas ang bisaya oi!)

yati jud ning mga taw oi nga pinangga au nmo nga up to the point nga mu control na sila nmo…. hapit kada lihok bantayan!!! kada taw u ma meet bantayan,..kelangan pud cla maka ila wid every person u meet… kalagot diba? cge txt, murag txtmate! kpoy oi! ma pud2x ako kamot! ngka alergy na ako kamot tungod anang txt2x ky cgeg ku-ot sa bulsa… aw hinuon, wa man sa’y ni ingon nga ibutang na ko ako cp sa ako bulsa… but i feel na it’s much safer mn if i place it in my pocket, (buot?!) nya mag cge’g interrogate!!! kalagot au! murag amaw!!! murag or wa jud ba kahay salig nato… unsa, ing-ani na jud ko ka gwapa??? gi-atay na!!! mu surok jud akong dugo anang mga taw ing-ana oi!!! kalagot au! mura kog mu silaob sa kalagot!!!! i feel frustrated nga mad nga ambot!!! kalagot jud kaayo! yati!!!!

    I’m done with this habit for about a year now. My goal for quitting was not for myself but for the ones who’d be affected by it. I decided to quit because I wouldn’t want my "future" baby to be affected by the harsh side effects of smoking. I also pity for the effects that could harm to passive smokers. This night is never the same than any other nights that have passed. It is on this very night that I have devoured again the taste of cigar…inhaling it’s minty aroma…playing it’s smoke with my mouth… and watching the smoke fades till nothing is left of it…. I have broken my own rule, my promise to my "future" baby, my promise to my "future" spouse, and my promise to myself…

    But a single night of puffing, won’t bring me back to the time where I could develop the habit once again. I’m pretty sure of it…

Haayyy…
Gugma…
Usahay malipay ka,
Usahay masakitan ka.

Usahay mag duda ka,
usahay pud sigurado na kaayo ka na siya na.
aduna pu’y panahon nga mag uros-uros na ang imong gi bati,
ug andam nka mu hatag tanan nga gusto niya bisan pa ug imong kinabuhi.

apan hinay-hinay lang inday, hinay-hinay lang undoy
kay ang gugma wala ga dali, ug dili bati-on ug kakapoy
ang tanan mahitabo ra gayud sa tukmang panahon
ug dili kinahanglang dali-dalion.

ug dinhi na matapos ang akong saysay kabahin sa gugma
pasensha na lang ka na bitin ka nga nag basa
apan mao ra kini ang mi gawas sa utok ko
ilabihan na gayud gikan gayud kini sa dughan ko

*–BOW–* (applause!)

if you can’t give me love,
then just show me a little respect.

i will never understand why there are people who are so quick to judge. they judge by ur failures, ur shortcomings. they never give credit to all the good things that you do. it doesnt matter if u were judge out of date or in other words, dugay ra ka gi saway. its d pain dat is entailed to it. criticisms are good. it helps you straighten up and changing ur shortcomings. but judging is somehow, beyond of there right. taw ra man sad ko.. ma sayop… but grabe nman sad na ang mga taw mka judge! mura ug criminal na jud ang tn-aw nko… mka judge cla murag di sad sila sawayunon… mu saway mo nga bati kog nawng n mura kog maid pero d mu mo tn-aw sa inyong nawng sa samin kung unsa sad ang deprensya nnyo…

ang nakapait pa jud kay kita na ang gi judge, kta pa ang daotan… kta pa ang sayop… lagi..ako sad ang dapat i-blame for such criticisms cz naa koy sayop… but wa nlng diay koy right ma lain? wa nkoy right mu react? wa nkoy right ma sakitan? para ninyo wala ra toh… f wla ra toh, den why say it anyway? does it mean nga wla mo’y word of honor or ing-ana lang jud  mo ka manhid pra di maka feel? grabe na jud ang mga taw ron… dey live up to der standards of perfection up to d point of stamping someone else’s pride…

to those who are so and not-so judgemental…….. judge urself first….. be considerate and sensitive…..

ENDLESS, A SILENT WHISPER
(urbandub)

The night belongs to us
We’re caught in a world of our own
We cling to the hope it would change for us
Is it in vain? Is it too late?
Why did it have to be you than I.
I heard the news today.

Is this the beginning of our last dance?
Once around the floor, can we do it again?
I feel the thrill from words we say,
I love you.

Embrace so much tighter
This could be our last together
Heaven sheds tears for the wounded hearts
Our forever has been torn apart

Our vast religions
Won’t help us answer
What was pre-destined for us to have
Since long ago.
It’s hopeless

The world it turns with us
Hold me in closer, don’t let go of me
Now we close our eyes and let go to the night
The night we feel alive.

Stillness

you’re silence means nothing to me
I am much braver now

what i need to know
am i free to beg?
i sold half my soul
am i free to keep the other half?
and i know you’re trying to justify
you say i am the one who’s damned
well, free your wretched eyes
hatred is blinding you
look at me now
am i as damned as you?

i hear you whispering in my ear
you smiled at me and then you said:
"i know you so well, you can’t live to tell
cant possibly survive coz you don’t know how."

what you need to know
you are free to lie
you sold half my soul
and now you want the other half
and i know you’re trying to justify
say i am the one to blame
well, free your clouded mind
your anger is deafening you
look at me now..
am i as dead as you?